In the first section we looked into hidden hurts and anamosities. It might be things we remember but most likely have buried deep within and may not consciously remember the details. Generational anamosities can easily fall into this category as well as long term issues. We eventually may even completely forget why we are even fighting! Here we delve more into something we are consciously dealing with but maybe do not know exactly why we are behaving badly. Some bible examples show consequences of bad behavior and leave it up to us on how to do the right things.

— Bitterness and Resentment in an Organization

Heb. 12:14-15:: Pursue peace with all people, and holiness, without which no one will see the Lord: looking carefully lest anyone fall short of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up cause trouble, and by this many become defiled;

Eph. 4:31-32:: Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you.

Is Apostle Paul talking to the world here or the church? The church pursues peace with all men. It is not always possible.

Now peace is not necessarily the way the world sees peace. The world sees peace as lack of confrontation. God sees peace as a way of life. We are told to rejoice in all circumstances, the good and the bad. We are called to be gentle. But there is a time to take a stand and there is a way that seems right unto a man but the ends thereof is death (Prov. 4:12). What stands have you taken lately that are unpopular?

Phil. 4:4-7:: Rejoice in the Lord always. Again I will say, rejoice! Let your gentleness be known to all men. The Lord is at hand. Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God;
and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.

The injuction in Hebrews 12:18 is if it is possible, as much as depends on you, live peaceably with all men.

Remember, the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking whom he might devour (1 Pet. 5:8). It does not say he sneaks up or approaches stealthily. We hear him coming. We see his teeth and hear his roar. He is big and obvious. We are to respond with prayer and supplication. Patience! Always being thankful, even in the testing. Our response, if full of bitterness, resentment, and harsh reactions does nothing to calm the roarding lion. A strong rebuke (in love) might turn away the lion but sometimes such words are easily misinterpreted.

That does not mean we don’t use tools to trap the raging lion. We could lull him to sleep but better soon entrap him into a cage. Proverbs 15:1 says a soft word turns away anger but a harsh word stirs up anger. Soft words many times allow defenses to be lowered. We pull in prey using some bait. Then we slam the cage shut as the bait is taken. This does not mean our first course of action against an embittered and resentful person is one of capturing a wild animal (nor should we go around caging people).

What I am saying here is spiritual. A soft word is always good. When that does not work sometimes you can trap people in wording of their own design. David got entraped by Nathan speaking of his rightful punishment for killing Uriah the Hittite. He took the bait of the rich man with many sheep who took the lamb of the poor man with only one little lamb. Sometimes people get goated to follow after the 99 instead of the one lost sheep. This is also a trap and often leads to destruction for the 99 can all be wrong, following after their own evil desires. There is wisdom in a multitude of counselors, if they are good counselors, but looking for that one outlyer is sometimes the key to success!

Even in our own families there can be arguments and dissentions. The church organization in many ways is one big disfunctional family. Let’s look at a couple of biblical examples.

— The case of Eli the Priest and His Two Wicked Sons

Here is another case of an elderly father not keeping in step with what is going on his own family. We first hear of the two sons in 1 Sam. 2:12: the sons of Eli were corrupt; they did not know the LORD.

The actual names is Sons of Belial, meaning wicked, worthless, or unlawful. For sure they did not follow what was proscribed by the law for the service of the priestly line.

1 Sam. 2:22:: Now Eli was very old; and he heard everything his sons did to all Israel, and how they lay with the women who assembled at the door of the tabernacle of meeting

the breast of the wave offering and the thigh of the heave offering I have taken from the children of Israel, from the sacrifices of their peace offerings, and I have given them to Aaron the priest and to his sons from the children of Israel by a statute forever (Lev. 7:34)

Eli’s sons rather took a large three-prongued fork to take whatever they wanted while the meat was boiling. Also the fat was to be burned on the alter, not consumed.

Lev. 7:25 says ‘‘For whoever eats the fat of the animal of which men offer an offering made by fire to the LORD, the person who eats it shall be cut off from his people’

For Eli did get a report regarding the wicked behavior of his sons but ignored it. Rules for priests can also affect our lives. Religious authorities should only take what is desginated their portion and not abuse women who come to receive ministry. We should likewise not do these things while trying to help people.

But the issue here is not just what the sons were doing but what their father failed to do. The bible says ‘train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it’ (Prov. 22:6). We are not told what Eli did in bringing up his children nor whether there was a mother involved. As head of his house it does not matter. He was ultimately responsible for their upbringing.

Perhaps they just rebelled. It is says is they were called Sons of Beliel which means worthless. Perhaps they got spoiled so they did not turn out good despite their upbringing. Whatever the upbringing or cause of their behavior it was up to Eli to take action.

Eli said to them ‘why do you do such things? For I hear of your evil dealings from all the people. No, my sons! For it is not a good report that I hear. You make the LORD’s people transgress. If one man sins against another, God will judge him. But if a man sins against the LORD, who will intercede for him?’ (1 Sam. 2:23-25)

This was a rather weak rebuke. He basically says at the end he is not going to intercede for his children.

Apostle Paul tells Timothy ‘there is one God and one Mediator between God and men, the Man Christ Jesus’ (1 Tim. 2:5). Yeshua is our great intercessor.

King David, after he arranged the murder of Uriah the Hittite, Bathsheba’s husband, said ‘against you, you only, have I sinned’ (Psalm 51:4). It is clear there as with Eli that sin against others can be considered sin against God himself. For sin is violation of God’s laws, no matter how you cut it. But when it comes to ceremonial law, sin is against God. Eli was not going to intercede for his sons and so judgement was inevitable.

For some violations the priest could make intercession. For a trespass like lying to a neighbor, a priest could make atonement (Lev. 6:7). When one sins unintentionally or out of ignorance atonement can be obtained. When one sins against holy things a tresspass or guilt offering can be made for atonement.

Leviticus 5:14-19 is the main passage regarding tresspass/guilt offerings which require a 20% penalty in addition to restoring the value of what was lost/stolen. Examples here are: 1) not witnessing (and reporting) the utterance of an oath 2) unknowingly touches an unclean thing, 3) unknowingly touches human uncleanness (like leprosy), 4) when one swears thoughtlessly to do something then realizes his violation. Also if one sins unintentionally regarding the holy things of the LORD restitation can also be made.

The problem is Eli’s sons were not ignorant of what they were supposed to do with offerings. No atonement could be made by Eli.

Willful sins are a serious matter! They are something for which atonement thru sacrifice cannot be obtained:
if we sin willfully after we have received the knowledge of the truth, there no longer remains a sacrifice for sins, but a certain fearful expectation of judgment, and fiery indignation which will devour the adversaries (Heb. 10:26-27).

The ramifications of this for us today are huge. We could also say who will make restitution for my intentional sins, especially when it comes to ceremonial items. Thanks be to God that Christ fulfilled (ceremonial) requirements of the law.

Christ himself said ‘do not think that I came to destroy the Law (nomos or torah) or the Prophets. I did not come to destroy but to fulfill. For assuredly, I say to you, till heaven and earth pass away, one jot or one tittle will by no means pass from the law till all is fulfilled’. (Matt. 5:17-18)

— David and Absalom

First, ignoring what happened to Tamar resulting in the death of Amnon at the hands of Absalom

When Tamar was alone with Amnon in his bedroom and started making the moves on his half sister she said ‘please speak to the king; for he will not withhold me from you’. (2 Sam. 13:13).

For the idea that she was willing but only with the King’s permission is debatable. She may have been trying a stall tactic or seeking an out by royal decree. Amnon did not care. Raw passion many times blinds people to right action.

But since he was much stronger he forced her to have sex with him. Then he hated her more than he previously wanted her (2 Sam. 13:15).

Commentators think he hated her because she was now defiled, no longer a virgin. Whatever the actual reason for his hate this shows us the unbridled emotions can often have some severe and terrible consequence.

2 Sam 13:21-22: when King David heard of all these things, he was very angry. Absalom spoke to his brother Amnon neither good nor bad. For Absalom hated Amnon, because he had forced his sister Tamar.

Additionally, she tore her coat of many colors which each of David’ virgin daughters wore (as did Joseph, the favorite son of Jacob). It was a disgrace to now show she had lost her virginity. She also put on ashes as she wept. She stayed in Absalom’s house alone, deserted. After two years Absolom invited all of the kings son’s including Amnon to a sheepshearing near Epharaim. It was a plot so he would have occasion to murder Amnon as revenge for raping his sister.

Afterwards Absalom flees to Geshur for three years, his mother’s home town. He then returns after David’s wrath subsided.. After two more years in Jerusalem David formally forgives Absalom. But this is by far not near to the end of David’s troubles.

Second, ignoring the open rebellion of Absalom eventually resulting in war within the kingdom. We cannot ignore issues withou our own house because they will eventually catch up to us and hurt us.

Absalom was reported as being very good looking, without any blemish, and had heavy hair. I can almost imagine his hair was very wavy an curly. He was a man respeced for his looks as was King Saul years before. He began judging the people’s cases at the city gates, winning over their favor.

Now after 4 years Absalom asked the king to venture down to Hebron with the pretense he had to pay a vow there. He was actually planning a coup from Hebron, declaring he was ruling from there.

If you remember, David reigned from Hebron for about 7 1/2 years as things progressed in Jerusalem. Saul’s general Abner gets killed by Joab, David’s commander. Eventually some brothers kill Ishbosheth, Saul’s son. Then the leaders anoint David leader over all of Israel. Hebron is the burial place of the patriachs and their wives so it is only natural to seek this place as a ruling location outside of Jerusalem.

Sometimes going back to our roots, so to speak, is a good idea. Rebellion in our house, however, is never good. Remember, Absalom first fled to Gesher, which is his mother’s house. He goes back to Hebron to find Israel’s roots but it is really just a big ploy to gather forces and plan his attack. Many events transpire during this war. Eventually Absolom is defeated and was killed by Joab, hanging on a terebinth branch.

So this son was rebellious. Absalom also abused David’s ten concubines in sight of all Israel.

If you remember Nathan’s prophesy against King David it said:
2 Sam. 12:10-11:: the sword shall never depart from your house, because you have despised Me, and have taken the wife of Uriah the Hittite to be your wife. Thus says the LORD: ‘Behold, I will raise up adversity against you from your own house; and I will take your wives before your eyes and give them to your neighbor, and he shall lie with your wives in the sight of this sun.

So we learn in David and Absalom the consequences of not dealing properly with misbehaving family. We don’t excuse the violation of Tamar by Amnon. But we also have to deal with sons and daughters who cannot get along. Open rebellion is not normal. Sometimes what happens in our family are direct consequences of what sins the parents have committed which are not completely resolved and flow down to subsequent generations.